Living each day with Laughter and Love
No matter what they have done to you and said to you, you cannot stop loving them. No matter how much they disappoint you, if you think you love them, you probably do. Do not tell yourself you don't love somebody if you do. What you might want to do is make a choice about whether you want this person to be a part of your life. You can love them in the deepest part of your being and choose to move on.
- Iyanla Vanzant
As a male military spouse and Stay-At-Home-Dad, learning to properly care for my ladies' hair has been a challenging and rewarding experience.
Doing my hair is simple. I've been cutting my own hair since my Academy days. I don't waste time worrying about my hair style anymore, I just shave it all off. I cut as low as my shears will allow me to and then I use my Norelco face shaver to shave the sides and back of my head. My haircuts are free and done in 15 minutes, but I could not imagine being able to perfect doing my daughter's hair in the same amount of time.
The big question for me used to be, "How do I do this?" How do I quickly do my daughter's hair in a way that looks nice and still allows me to get her to school on time?
The YMCA Adventure Guides Father-Daughter Sweetheart Ball was not on my radar until a good friend of mine told me how he takes his daughters each year. I thought, "Cool! You and your girls are really excited about this thing, huh?" When my wife started getting emails about the event, there was no controlling her excitement. She was even talking about renting a car for the night!
In case you didn't know (like me), a dadddy-daughter dance allows dad an opportunity to set an example and standard for how his daughter should be treated on a date. It is also an opportunity for dad to build that special bond with his daughter and make special memories.
Okay, based on the description above, I tossed the whole daddy-daughter dance thing out the window because my daughter and dating don't even go together in a sentence. And I can build that special bond with my daughter at the creek - FISHING!
But I thought about the whole thing (I do a lot of thinking) and with my "try-almost-anything-once" attitude, I went all in.
That's right! I went to my first daddy-daughter dance AND I LOVED IT!
As a civilian male military spouse and stay at home dad, it can be hard to navigate the holidays and avoid depression. Early on in my journey as a male military spouse and SAHD, I was a Sad At Holidays Dad. The worse part was that I didn't know why.
A message to civilian male military spouses and stay at home dads about the holiday blues.
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I get these "google alerts" every day, which are basically just articles and posts from around the web related to certain keywords I want to monitor. "SAHD" and "Stay At Home Dad" are keywords I monitor and I have been getting a great deal of posts lately.
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Judging from a lot of online discussions that I have read, it appears that there is still a novelty effect when it comes to dads staying home and being the primary caregiver for the kid(s) and taking care of the house. At the same time, I am seeing more Stay-At-Home-Dads (like myself) becoming more of a presence online.
I've been a SAHD for just over a year now and I have learned a lot about the role, but mostly, I've learned alot about myself. Before choosing to be a SAHD last year, I never really gave the topic any thought. Since then, I think about being a SAHD everyday.
The greatest challenges I encounter are internal. I'm talking about the unexpected feelings and thoughts that pop up in certain situations when I'm interacting with my daughter. It's learning that I'm not exactly who I thought I was that has given me the biggest "WOW" moments.
Overall, this opportunity to be so actively involved in my daughter's life has been great! I think about the fact that I get to actively, intentionally, purposefully guide my daughter on a day-to-day basis and I'm grateful. At the same time, I pray that I am demonstrating some qualities that positively impact her character development.
Now, I find myself thinking about my childhood often, especially the interaction I had with my dad, who was a SAHD before the acronym and all this hooplah. My opinions regarding SAHDs is heavily influenced by my experiences with my dad. My choice to stay at home was pretty easy because my dad was a model for me in this role. But it is the power of my dad's presence that makes me say that this is what I must do for my daughter.
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The start of school means that I have to work my magic on my daughter's hair in the mornings. Yay!
Here are some pictures of me and my daughter on the second day of school for 2012. I'm finishing her hair before we move into the next step of our morning routine - breakfast.
Doing my daughter's hair has never been a problem for me. I've been doing her hair since she was an infant. I've done mom's hair a few times as well. I just can't get my hands to cooporate for braids and plaits, so I just stick to twists.
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I did a video talking about my life-changing experience at Camp Classen with my daughter this past weekend. The video features one of my new songs "Quest" from my upcoming "Moody Grooves" collection of Moody instruMental Music.
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I was blessed to see Tamilyn's first steps back in 2006, while we were living in Los Angeles, California. Here's the video that I put together.
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